| Shrinky Dinks |
[Mar. 4th, 2009|08:52 am] |
Ya know - I knew this was going to be difficult. I knew I wasn't going to be able to just let go and feel everything get better instantly. There's still times when I look back and I really miss her. Who am I kidding, I really miss her a lot - and quite often. I'm trying to be very strong in this and know that the distance and the time (which was something that caused a lot of problems in itself) is going to be something that will make it better. I think about that last statement, and I feel it can go either way.
Any why am I worried about it? Well, it's pretty simple - I still love her. This is actually the main reason why I need to keep my distance. It's bad for me to love her right now. I'm going to end up being hurt because I have the attachement to her, and she has the disattachment to me. It seems really appealing, but then I have to remember that it hurts a lot too.
It's been pretty easy for me to give up things for Lent in the past, because Lent has an end date. I have some date that I can stop giving up whatever I give up. It's pretty easy to just do something (or not do something) when you know that you can resume on Easter Sunday. Giving this up is so difficult, because I am using all my strength to make myself able to do this, but I don't know how long I can do this without cracking. I promise you all - I will crack.
For the most part, I've been able to keep myself busy. However, I put myself in isocolation last month.
Kelly (who is one of my dearest friends and a great encouragement) and I only hung out 3 times. Super Bowl party at her house on the 1st, Lunch with Kelly after I went to church on 15th, and then Disneyland on the 28th. As you can see, they were all about 2 weeks apart. I didn't really do much of anything except go to Porterville to help my parents move their store, and work. I did make a new friend, though. Our hangout days are numbered though, as she's going to be moving to NY very soon.
For the most part though, I've been hanging out with myself. When I craved Famous Dave's, I no longer will only go if someone can come with me - I'll go alone. 2 weeks ago, I went to the beach and just chilled there - alone. Last weekend on the way back from church, I decided I was going to go for a jog on the beach (for the first time). I sent a twitter message out. Even though no one could make it, I still went. In fact, I jogged probably about 5 miles (Venice Pier to Santa Monica Pier and back) that day. I felt really good about it, and it was amazing to just go out and do something besides sit in my room and let my thoughts get the best of me.
I've also been getting in to going to the gym more. I went on Saturday (yes, I went on a weekend). I want to get out of the slump, and just feel better about all of this. However, I can't lie to everyone or even lie to myself. I can't shake the feeling I have for her. All I'm doing is numbing them so I can try not to feel them. However, when the numbing dies down I realize it's still there.
I'm at a loss on what to do. I'm just taking it a day at a time, and making sure to make the most of my days. I had some pretty good days last week. It's amazing that those days were days where I spent it alone. I'm confused as to why that is.
When I was younger, I was really in to this band called Ghoti Hook. They had one song that was always my favorite. On the way to Disneyland on Saturday, that song came on my iPod. This song was really my favorite song (I mean it, guys). So much, that I even sang this song when my first band used to cover it. I just like it a lot, but never really focused on the words. I focused on them this weekend, and realized maybe it was something I was supposed to hear 13 years later.
( Lyrics+Video )
I just need to continue to take this one day at a time, and see how long I can go without cracking. It seems to be getting easier, but at the same time it's getting harder. |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 2nd, 2007|07:03 pm] |
http://im.live.com/Messenger/IM/Home/
Microsoft will donate money for every IM you send if you put a code next to your display name on MSN messenger 8.0 or up.
Codes:
*red+u American Red Cross
*bgca Boys & Girls Clubs
*naf National AIDS Fund
*mssoc National Multiple Sclerosis Society
*9mil ninemillion.org
*sierra Sierra Club
*help StopGlobalWarming.org
*komen Susan G. Komen for the Cure
*unicef The US fund for UNICEF
That's all. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 23rd, 2006|10:42 am] |
Alright, so I'm back in porterville for the next day.
I got a speeding ticket on the way home. 30 miles over the limit. That should be great. Those of you traveling (Priscilla), watch out!
I got a text message this morning when I woke up from my ex jessica telling me that if I ever called her again like I did "tonight" that she'll find something or someone to stop me. Best part, I didn't call her. I sent her a message in reply saying something like: "Dear retard, I didn't call you. I have better things to do with my time then deal with you". I bet she still thinks I'm the one who posted naked pictures of her on her myspace.
I mean, I know I'm super hax0r 1337 like no ones business. But, shes more slutty then I am nerdy. The math is simple there. I could have gotten into her e-mail, but I'm sure theres many people out there with many pictures of her bees. Besides, posting naked pictures of someone is horrible. I woulnd't even do that to my worst enemy (jessica).
So, if anyone is around and wants to chill, hit me up. |
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| AIM Triton WITHOUT Added AOL Explorer! |
[Dec. 16th, 2005|01:58 pm] |
As many of you know, AOL released the new AIM with a bundled, non-optional, browser. To remove, simply after installation, go to your Program Files-AOL-Explorer-1.2 directory on your computer and run the uninstall exe file in there. Now all links clicked on in AIM will open in the browser YOU choose!
read more | digg story |
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| Apology Letter From Ed Lopez, Owner of PriceRitePhoto |
[Dec. 1st, 2005|10:05 pm] |
I received a call this morning from Ed Lopez, the owner of PriceRitePhoto. We spoke at length and he told me that the activity that has resulted from my post on my experience with his business has most certainly impacted his business. Note: This is from Thomas Hawk's blog, not me!
read more | digg story |
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| Abusive New York Camera Store Threatens Blogger |
[Nov. 30th, 2005|11:45 am] |
"I will make sure you will never be able to place an order on the internet again." "I'm an attorney, I will sue you." "I'm going to call your local police and have two officers come over and arrest you." Just a few of the fun things I got to hear today from someone who said his name was Steve Phillips over at PriceRitePhoto.
read more | digg story |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 12th, 2005|08:18 pm] |
Acutal Words Spoken To My Father:
"Congratulations on raising a push-over dad! The girls LOVE walking on me and using me as a door mat. You know it's your fault. You and your "respect women" crap. "Oh sure, you can use me as a pin cushion - that's fine. I don't mind". "respect the woman, respect the woman". You made me this way! |
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